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How To Tell Friends They Are Not Invited

Jun 7, 2009


In a perfect world (kinda like the picture above, I would imagine) none of your friends or co-workers would put you on the spot and ask if they are invited to your wedding.  But in reality, it happens.

With the current economic situation, you may be scaling down your guest list and that’s OK!  Gone are the times of super-sized guests lists.  Now, more than ever couples are including their families and close friends only – sometimes even cutting out their extended families to save cash.

Here are 4 great ideas on what to say if you’re put into an awkward situation.

If you’re having a small wedding say: “We really wish we could invite all of our friends, but we’ve decided to keep the wedding as an intimate family affair.”

If the above isn’t entirely true, but your friend didn’t make the cut say:  “Since we have large extended families, our guest list is relatives only.”

If your paying, blame it on the economy: “Because we’re paying for the wedding ourselves, we’ve had to cut down on the size of the event so it is more afforable for us.”

If  you’re parents are paying, blame them: ” ___ and ___ are footing the bill and I need to stick to their budget and heat count, so unfortunately I can’t invite everyone I’d like to.”

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Erica is an 11 year veteran of the wedding industry and is the owner and founder of advice has been featured in the books: How To Plan Your Wedding and Enjoy It! Experienced Wedding Professionals Share Their Secrets and Planet Wedding.Follow her on Google +
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2 Responses to “How To Tell Friends They Are Not Invited”

  1. Rollerbladerdc - June 7th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    My sister just went through not being able to invite everyone she wanted to her wedding. She ended up only inviting immediate family so I recommended she do a couple things to be able to at least include our aunts and uncles. I told her to try shopping on eBay for some of her accessories, ask for online donations to her wedding instead of presents and gifts so she can see what her extra budget is and gave her a few other tips which ended up giving her some extra money so she could have more of our family at her wedding. Just thought these tips might help other people increase their budgets as well.

  2. Thina Doukas Photography - November 8th, 2009 at 6:23 am

    Hi there, like to add that similar problems are happening here in Sydney Australia. Due to the economic situations which the banks instigated in the first place, we are all suffering. The good old days of huge lavish weddings have been thrown out the window. These days we tend to find bride and grooms have not only budgeted on photography and video, but have also minimised their guests list by 30% or more. Reception centres have bumped up their prices to the extent that photographers and videographers look very expensive. Head to your back yard, set up a marquee, invite your close friends and family, bring along your photographer and have a party! Not a formal reception….. Cheers from Sydney