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Dear Bridezilla: Reponse to the Viral Crazy Email

Oct 5, 2012

If you’re somebody who’s up to date on social media (or just opened up Yahoo! today and saw the latest news like we did here) you may have seen this:  Bridezilla’s Crazy Email to Bridesmaids Goes Viral.

The email was sent anonymously to Gawker (you can find their article and the letter in its entirety here) and is a legitimate note sent from a bride to her 10 potential bridesmaids. In the lengthy email she lets the girls know what she will be expecting of them if they agree to be in her wedding party, and if not…”see ya!”

All of us here at Little Things read the actual letter from the bride, as well as Gawker’s post and commentary on it (which is absolutely hilarious, by the way) and then began to discuss the audacity of the bride. Not only do we work in the bridal industry, but Kristi will be getting married next fall and all of us have been asked to be in a wedding at some point. So, we started wondering, did this bride have the grounds to send such a ballsy email?

My personal answer is no. When asked to be in a wedding – especially as a bridesmaid rather than a groomsmen – the first thing anyone should be aware of are the expenses. In true tradition, a bridesmaid is required to pay for her dress and alterations, shoes, accessories and hair/makeup, and chip in for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Oh, and don’t forget about gifts and like in this case, any hotel stays and flights if you have to travel. So it was quite rude of her to shove it in the girls’ faces first thing:  “Also if money is tight and you can’t afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or won’t be able to afford a dress etc, then [we] don’t have time to deal with that, I’m sorry.”

This bride went a little too far. If she’s close enough with these women to ask them to be in her wedding, does she really have to be so harsh about her demands and expectations? I understand that a wedding is usually a once in a lifetime thing, you’re never able to do it twice, blah blah blah, but come on! I’m no interventionist, but bridezillas need to come to the realization that the world and other people’s lives will not stop for the wedding. She must have some sort of stable relationship with the bridesmaids-to-be, so shouldn’t she trust them enough to evaluate their personal lives and financial situations, therefore making the “right” decision of being in her wedding or not? Or even feel somewhat assured that anyone who does agree to be in the party is doing so because they value their friendship and will do all that they can to be a “perfect” bridesmaid? With that being said, shouldn’t one of these girls have turned around and literally and/or figuratively slapped this bride in the face after they received that email? Because I certainly would have. On the other hand, at least the bride was blunt about the whole thing and pretty much gave the girls fair warning. If that’s how she’s acting almost a year before her wedding, imagine what she’ll be like a month before.

All in all, if you’re a bride-to-be, be considerate of your bridesmaids. Even though it’s your special day, keep in mind that they’re not only dedicating their time and money to help make it completely special, but maintaining their patience and trying to keep their sanity.  That’s what the point of bridesmaids gifts are, to thank them for all that they’ve done!

Have a great weekend!

- Kelsey

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Erica is an 11 year veteran of the wedding industry and is the owner and founder of LittleThingsFavors.com.Her advice has been featured in the books: How To Plan Your Wedding and Enjoy It! Experienced Wedding Professionals Share Their Secrets and Planet Wedding.Follow her on Google +
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